How to ask for more—and get it | Alex Carter | TEDxReno

TL;DR

Negotiation is about steering relationships and asking open-ended questions to uncover the other person's needs and goals.

Transcript

[Applause] the most important things I know about negotiation I learned in a kayak on my honeymoon picture this I arrive in Hawaii and I look adoringly at my brand new husband as we get in a two-person kayak together for a river tour then things go wrong fast you see in a two-person kayak the passenger in the back usually the larger passenger is su... Read More

Key Insights

• 🤑 Negotiation is not just about the money, but about steering relationships effectively.
• ⛹️ Asking open-ended questions uncovers the other person's needs, concerns, and goals.
• 🍝 Preparing ourselves by recalling past successful experiences enhances negotiation outcomes.
• 🤫 Embracing silence in negotiation can lead to collaborative decision-making.
• 🥳 Building a partnership mindset with the other party increases the likelihood of successful negotiations.
• 👨‍💼 Negotiation is a valuable skill in various aspects of life, not just in business.
• ❓ Negotiation requires curiosity, listening skills, and empathy.

Questions & Answers

Q: How can negotiation benefit our everyday relationships?

Negotiation is not just about money, but about steering relationships. By intentionally focusing on everyday conversations and getting to know others' priorities and needs, we are more likely to be successful in money conversations as well.

Q: What is the key technique for successful negotiation?

Curiosity and asking open-ended questions are crucial in negotiation. By asking questions that uncover the other person's needs, concerns, and goals, we can gather valuable information and build trust, leading to better negotiation outcomes.

Q: Why is the first part of negotiation with ourselves important?

The first part of negotiation is negotiating with ourselves, also known as the mirror. It is critical because if we don't get this right, the negotiation stops there. By reminding ourselves of past successful experiences and our capabilities, we are more likely to negotiate well.

Q: How can silence be advantageous in negotiation?

Leaving periods of silence in negotiation can be beneficial. It not only increases the likelihood of the other person giving a high-value move, but it also comes across as collaborative. Embracing silence allows the other person to process the information and make thoughtful decisions.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Negotiation is not just about the money, but about steering relationships in everyday conversations.

• Curiosity and asking open-ended questions lead to better negotiation outcomes.

• Negotiation starts with negotiating with ourselves and reminding ourselves of our past successful experiences.