KERRY WASHINGTON On The Family Secret That Changed Her Life: ”We’re as sick as our secrets” | Summary and Q&A

Summary

In this podcast episode, the host interviews Kerry Washington, a renowned actress and author. They discuss various topics, including childhood memories, the strength of women who came before them, panic attacks, the healing power of acting, the complexities of success, and the impact of new information on Kerry's life.

Questions & Answers

Q: Can you share a childhood memory that defines who you are today?

Kerry talks about being the first girl in her neighborhood to play a game called "All Sharks Under" and how it reflects her bravery and willingness to challenge societal limitations based on gender and age. This memory symbolizes her determination to swim in the deep end of life.

Q: What gave the women who came before you the courage and strength to overcome challenges?

Kerry explains that women of color, especially black women, have had to be resilient and strong out of necessity. They didn't have the privilege of being damsels in distress and had to rely on their own resilience and strength. The history of slavery and the diaspora shaped their identity and instilled courage within them.

Q: How did you reconnect with your sense of knowing after abandoning it?

Kerry discusses how practicing yoga allowed her to reconnect with her sense of self. During shavasana, she experienced a moment of stillness and presence in her body, which helped her embrace her emotions and express them more freely. Yoga became a safe space for her to explore her feelings and embrace her truth.

Q: At the age of seven, you had panic attacks and tried to have good thoughts. What led to these panic attacks, and why did you focus on having good thoughts?

Kerry explains that she didn't have the language to understand panic attacks at such a young age. However, she describes the physical sensations she experienced, such as dread, a rising heat, and a clenching in her throat. She tried to have good thoughts as a way to counteract the fear and anxiety and find some sense of peace and joy amidst the panic.

Q: What was the source of the panic and fear at age seven?

Kerry believes that a combination of factors contributed to her panic and fear at a young age. She mentions hearing her parents argue and a sense of feeling unsafe, both emotionally and unconsciously. She felt a disconnect and a longing for wholeness, as if something was being kept from her. This unspoken knowledge created a sense of distrust and insecurity, leading to panic and fear.

Q: Acting became a healing and expressive outlet for you. How did performing behind the mask of characters help you reveal your truth?

Kerry shares how acting provided her with a safe space to both hide behind and express her true emotions. While she couldn't freely express her feelings in her personal life, she found solace in playing various characters who allowed her to genuinely experience and express intense emotions. Acting became a platform for her to be vulnerable and explore her own emotional truth.

Q: You mentioned wanting to get away from acting, but opportunities keep coming your way. Can you explain the paradox behind this?

Kerry discusses the dichotomy between the pure art and craft of acting and the business aspects of the entertainment industry. While she loves the creative side of acting, she doesn't always enjoy the competitive nature and the business-related challenges. However, she acknowledges that acting is her calling and has a deep connection to her purpose. It's a constant tug-of-war between the fulfillment of performing and the struggles of the business side of the profession.

Q: How do you navigate the tension between the creative craft of acting and the material business aspects?

Kerry reflects on the complexity of success and the importance of defining it on her own terms. She recognizes that her journey may not look like anyone else's and that comparing herself to others is futile. She uses the analogy of Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks, highlighting that different people have different paths and neither career is less valid than the other. Kerry's goal is to find balance and redefine success by incorporating all aspects of her life, such as her roles as a wife, mother, and daughter.

Q: You mentioned that being busy gives you a sense of safety and control. How have you managed to create space for yourself and become less busy?

Kerry acknowledges her tendency to be busy but emphasizes the importance of checking the intention behind her busyness. She began evaluating her commitments and saying no more often to create room for purpose-driven activities that align with her passions and allow her to contribute and give of herself. She aims to find a balance between accomplishment and genuine contribution.

Q: Can you share the new information your parents gave you at the age of 41 that turned your world upside down?

Kerry reveals that her parents informed her that her biological father is actually a sperm donor and not the man she grew up believing to be her biological father. This revelation was shocking but also made sense to Kerry in understanding the disconnect and longing she had felt. It allowed her to embrace her true identity and have an honest narrative of her life.

Takeaways

Kerry Washington's journey is a testament to the power of self-discovery, resilience, and embracing one's truth. She highlights the importance of acknowledging and honoring the complexities of life, both in personal and professional spheres. Kerry's experiences with panic attacks, acting, and her family reveal the healing potential of embracing vulnerability and finding one's calling. Ultimately, success should be defined on one's own terms, and the pursuit of truth and authenticity is a lifelong journey.