"A 2010 study found that those with weaker social relationships had a higher risk of early mortality than those who did not; a 2018 survey raised the alarm on social isolation, revealing that nearly half of Americans were considered lonely."

"social isolation is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, and anxiety."

"chronic loneliness is a consequence of ongoing isolation brought on by busyness, depression, a significant life change — like a move, a breakup, the birth of a child, or some combination of all of the above."

"too much social interaction can be equally draining. An essential aspect of a well-balanced social life is alone time, a chance to recharge, according to research."

"Protecting your energy and time is just as crucial as maintaining social connections; to be a good friend, you have to have the emotional bandwidth to show up for others absent resentment or obligation."

"At the end of a day, week, or month, take stock of with whom you socialized, what kinds of interactions you had, and whether you feel emotionally satisfied to get a clearer picture of your social intake."

"A 2022 study found that the more “relational diversity” a person has in their social repertoire, the higher their well-being. Using the analogy of a “social portfolio,” Harvard Business School doctoral candidate Hanne Collins and her colleagues found when people socialize with a range of conversation partners — family members, coworkers, friends, and strangers — on a given day, they report feeling happier than those who converse with fewer “categories” of people."

"While the study didn’t measure the duration of each interaction, Collins considers any conversation beyond exchanging “how do you do” as a social connection."

"In a similar 2020 study, Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies and the director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at the University of Kansas, found that people who reported higher levels of well-being and life satisfaction interacted with more people overall."

"Olga Stavrova and her co-authors found that people get the most benefit from as little as one social event a month. “According to this data,” says Stavrova, an associate professor in the department of social psychology at Tilburg University, “if you go out several times a month, that would be enough for you to reach a happiness level that social contact can bring you.”"

"A quality conversation is just as important as the quantity of conversations. In his 2020 study, Hall found that meaningful interactions — like laughter-filled hangouts or emotional discussions — adequately keep loneliness at bay."

"Hall found in a 2022 study. “The most impactful thing to do is have a meaningful conversation with someone you really like, face-to-face” every day"

"Texts and social media will never replace the embodied experience of connecting with someone, but they can help fill in the gaps, Hall says. Texting can be used to mitigate loneliness, but according to his research, doesn’t have the same impact as face-to-face quality time."

"“When you have a day you’re feeling lonely,” Hall says, “it’s actually really important to respond to that in ways that are seeking social contact.”"

"Because so many follow these “traditional” paths, both in real life and in Western popular culture, we learn from a young age to model and emulate these behaviors."

"Family and cultural traditions can dictate what is expected of us throughout life, particularly among women, which can elicit anxiety when those benchmarks aren’t reached."

"Through time and reflection, you can use your values and motivations as guides for a fully authentic life."

"When life is full of “shoulds” — you should go to college, get married, buy a nice house, have kids, become the boss, etc. — there is very little room for improvisation."

"However, it isn’t until you stray from the path — either purposely or accidentally — that you consider whether the road well traveled is the right one for you."

"However, if you grew up with certain expectations, obligations, and social examples, knowing what fulfills you can be difficult."

"“In contrast, if they felt entirely unprepared for the role, didn’t really see themselves connecting with a spouse or kids, and were being pressured into making the decision by other people, then they might not personally value reaching the milestone at that time.”"

"Alternatively, if you’ve always wanted a house with a big yard so you can rescue dogs and host your large family for get-togethers because of your genuine appreciation for animals and loved ones, your motivations are internally driven."

"“What is it that you would be doing? What are your natural passions and skills? What excites you naturally?”"

"Strand’s research showed that when a circular beacon of light was present in a noisy setting, people expended less energy listening to their conversation partner and responded quicker than without the light."

"author Kathryn Schulz loosely defines being wrong “as a deviation from external reality, or an internal upheaval in what we believe” — with the caveat that wrongness is too vast to fit neatly into either category."

"accepting we’re capable of being wrong and moving on from blunders relatively unscathed can provide solace for a society squeamish about slip-ups."

"What prevents us from realizing our wrongness is the psychological theory of cognitive dissonance, says Adam Fetterman, assistant professor and director of the Personality, Emotion, and Social Cognition Lab."

"“Oftentimes, the most common way that people get rid of it is by rejecting the new information or creating a new cognition that basically gets rid of it."

"“Admitting that you’re wrong, even to yourself, you have this fear that you’re going to be rejected by your fellow humans.”"

"The irony is how wrong we are about the perception of being wrong. Fetterman’s research shows admitting wrongness actually improves our reputation."

"“​​I learned pretty quickly that sometimes, no matter how hard you work, there are systemic failures working to keep you down,” Chiranova, who now runs her own video production company, says."

"To admit erroneousness without excuse — to simply state, “I was wrong” — is a skill, Brown says."

"The negative ways we view ourselves in the midst of admitting wrongness can be the biggest barriers to moving forward."

"Normalizing wrongness can help people more easily come to realizations of their own fallibility."

"These connections range from your inner circle of family and close friends to the outer rungs of your social network — other pet parents at the dog park, for example — and it’s important to have this variety."

"“To try and count on one person to fill all of your emotional and psychological needs is not a good thing,” says Gillian Sandstrom"

"finding community is much different from just making friends."

"a community is defined by four criteria: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection."

"To be part of a community, you must feel a sense of belonging (membership), feel like you make a difference to the group and that the group makes a difference to you (influence), feel like your needs will be met by other group members (integration and fulfillment of needs), and feel that you share history, similar experiences, time, and space together (shared emotional connection)."

"In contrast, friendship “is an invested, dedicated, platonic relationship where two people who are friends with each other are committed to the growth, the well-being, the support, the thriving of each other,” explains Kat Vellos,"

"Think of it as a group of people who uplift one another and form a safety net for all of life’s moments."

"While many communities exist online, there must be an element of reciprocity — all parties contributing information and support equally — for the group to thrive."

"One of the easiest ways to find a group you’d mesh with is to figure out where you wouldn’t mind spending a few hours of your time."

"Whether it’s a performance or a neighborhood coat drive, anything you’re creating together “is a beautiful way to build community,” Poswolsky says."

"Knowing what your values are is crucial to finding a community where you truly fit, Poswolsky says, and that can take work and soul-searching."

"Start small: Your budding community doesn’t have to be hundreds deep. “Real nurturing community starts in small groups,” McMillan says."

"Part of the beauty of community is its ability to draw people from varying stages of life who can help open your eyes to new points of view and wisdom."

"To forge a true connection with the group — and vice versa — you’ll need to continually show up and add value."

"Humans have more positive feelings toward familiar people, so seeing the same people on a repeated basis helps you both ingratiate with an already established group and with people you see regularly in your day-to-day life."

"Because communities are made up of lots of people with varying opinions and life experiences, being an active member means regularly interacting with others in the group."

"“It’s my job to put energy into other people and not just wait for them to put energy into me,” he says."

"But don’t exhaust yourself"

"The goal of community building isn’t necessarily to make new friends (though that definitely can happen), but to build a network."

"“I’m going to be intentional with my time and make sure that the people that I am investing my time with are the individuals that I see as part of my future who can not only help me grow, but people who are willing to be helped as well.”"