Mark Twain's Quotes

Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel".

Wikipedia Quotes

164 Quotes

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

— Mark Twain

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."

— Mark Twain

"A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes."

— Mark Twain

"Happiness is a Swedish sunset it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it."

— Mark Twain

"Whoever is happy will make others happy, too."

— Mark Twain

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

— Mark Twain

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

— Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover."

— Mark Twain

"Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said."

— Mark Twain

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

— Mark Twain

"The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life."

— Mark Twain

"To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with."

— Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

— Mark Twain

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

— Mark Twain

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."

— Mark Twain

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

— Mark Twain

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

— Mark Twain

"′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read."

— Mark Twain

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

— Mark Twain

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

— Mark Twain

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."

— Mark Twain

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

— Mark Twain

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

— Mark Twain

"In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them."

— Mark Twain

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

— Mark Twain

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

— Mark Twain

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

— Mark Twain

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

— Mark Twain

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

— Mark Twain

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

— Mark Twain

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

— Mark Twain

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"

— Mark Twain

"The difference between th"

— Mark Twain

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

— Mark Twain

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

— Mark Twain

"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."

— Mark Twain

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."

— Mark Twain

"Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else."

— Mark Twain

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce."

— Mark Twain

"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination."

— Mark Twain

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

— Mark Twain

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

— Mark Twain

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

— Mark Twain

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them."

— Mark Twain

"When angry, count four. When very angry, swear."

— Mark Twain

"Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."

— Mark Twain

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."

— Mark Twain

"Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary."

— Mark Twain

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

— Mark Twain

"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

— Mark Twain

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her."

— Mark Twain

"The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."

— Mark Twain

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

— Mark Twain

"The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter."

— Mark Twain

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

— Mark Twain

"Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent."

— Mark Twain

"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."

— Mark Twain

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

— Mark Twain

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

— Mark Twain

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

— Mark Twain

"If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it."

— Mark Twain

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

— Mark Twain

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable."

— Mark Twain

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

— Mark Twain

"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

— Mark Twain

"Reality can be beaten with enough imagination."

— Mark Twain

"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't."

— Mark Twain

"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

— Mark Twain

"There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."

— Mark Twain

"Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned."

— Mark Twain

"All right, then, I'll go to hell."

— Mark Twain

"All kings is mostly rapscallions."

— Mark Twain

"One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare."

— Mark Twain

"Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed."

— Mark Twain

"Be good, and you will be lonesome."

— Mark Twain

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."

— Mark Twain

"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."

— Mark Twain

"Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt."

— Mark Twain

"Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it."

— Mark Twain

"Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most."

— Mark Twain

"Explore. Dream. Discover."

— Mark Twain

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."

— Mark Twain

"A good marriage is the union of the two good forgiveness."

— Mark Twain

"Golf is a good walk, spoiled."

— Mark Twain

"A man cannot be comfortable without his approval."

— Mark Twain

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t."

— Mark Twain

"Love is a madness; if thwarted, it develops fast."

— Mark Twain

"Hunger is the handmaid of genius."

— Mark Twain

"Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to."

— Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything."

— Mark Twain

"Modesty died when clothes were born."

— Mark Twain

"All generalisations are false, including this one."

— Mark Twain

"The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."

— Mark Twain

"Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing."

— Mark Twain

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

— Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything."

— Mark Twain

"It is easier to stay out than get out."

— Mark Twain

"Words are only painted fire; a look is fire itself."

— Mark Twain

"The public is merely a multiplied ‘me.’"

— Mark Twain

"I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping."

— Mark Twain

"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting."

— Mark Twain

"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."

— Mark Twain

"Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company."

— Mark Twain

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."

— Mark Twain

"Be virtuous, and you will be eccentric."

— Mark Twain

"Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read."

— Mark Twain

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

— Mark Twain

"Buy land. They’re not making it anymore."

— Mark Twain

"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain."

— Mark Twain

"The heart is the real fountain of youth."

— Mark Twain

"Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it."

— Mark Twain

"Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul."

— Mark Twain

"It is wiser to find out than to suppose."

— Mark Twain

"Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits."

— Mark Twain

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— Mark Twain

"Truth is more of a stranger than fiction."

— Mark Twain

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."

— Mark Twain

"Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late."

— Mark Twain

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

— Mark Twain

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."

— Mark Twain

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

— Mark Twain

"Necessity is the mother of taking chances."

— Mark Twain

"Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most."

— Mark Twain

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

— Mark Twain

"A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies."

— Mark Twain

"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

— Mark Twain

"Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired."

— Mark Twain

"Familiarity breeds contempt – and children."

— Mark Twain

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

— Mark Twain

"It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all."

— Mark Twain

"There are lies, damned lies and statistics."

— Mark Twain

"Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it."

— Mark Twain

"When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one."

— Mark Twain

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— Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

— Mark Twain

"How empty is theory in the presence of fact!"

— Mark Twain

"I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way."

— Mark Twain

"Pity is for the living. Envy is for the dead."

— Mark Twain

"After a few months’ acquaintances with European coffee,"

— Mark Twain

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

— Mark Twain

"Circumstances make man, not man circumstances."

— Mark Twain

"To succeed in life, you need two things ignorance and confidence."

— Mark Twain

"The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

— Mark Twain

"Put all your eggs in one basket — and watch that basket!"

— Mark Twain

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up."

— Mark Twain

"Virtue has never been as respectable as money."

— Mark Twain

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

— Mark Twain

"Don’t wait. The time will never be just right."

— Mark Twain

"The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it."

— Mark Twain

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know."

— Mark Twain

"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often."

— Mark Twain

"New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin."

— Mark Twain

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— Mark Twain

"Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection."

— Mark Twain

"I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

— Mark Twain

"Prosperity is the best protector of principle."

— Mark Twain

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

— Mark Twain

"No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon."

— Mark Twain

"I can live for two months on a good compliment."

— Mark Twain

"Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life."

— Mark Twain

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

— Mark Twain

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

— Mark Twain

"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."

— Mark Twain

"You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

— Mark Twain

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