Boudewijn
@Haberjr
Personal Leadership Practitioner, Somatic leadership, and life coach, & curious!
Brooklyn, NY
Joined Jul 3, 2022
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Learns #Learning #Knowledge Management #Psychology #writing #Biology
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YOU MUST HIDE EMOTIONS
We get taught that resilience means managing and hiding our emotions, and not showing vulnerability. This is based on the outdated notion that sharing feelings is a weakness. But the most powerful demonstrations of courage often involve being honest and raw.
LIFE IS HAPPENING TO YOU
We often feel that we’re at the mercy of life or that past traumas and future possibilities can define who and how we are in the present. This undermines our agency and steals our peace of mind.
In my State of Mind study, nearly half of adults say they feel stressed or anxious always or most of the time. Two-thirds say they always overthink and ruminate, and just under half say they often feel overwhelmed by situations at work or at home.
What if we don’t have to build resilience in ourselves or each other? What if we just need to reveal what’s already inside? And as leaders and changemakers, this is a far simpler proposition.
But it’s not working and that’s because true resilience is not about more of anything.
And this noise comes in the form of false beliefs and ideas about our mental life.
But being adaptable, wise, and creative is woven into the fabric of life itself. There is no resilience gene.
We do inherit genes but don’t inherit how they get expressed. That part is determined by how we use our minds. Our beliefs about how reality works create our moment-to-moment perceptions, which shapes what we perceive, how we feel, and how we act.
Emotions don’t need to be fixed or feared. Our feelings make us human. It’s the nudge of conscience that makes you say sorry.
When we equate knowledge and certainty with being resilient, it leads us to overextend ourselves, trying to understand or manage everything because we think it will reduce our insecurities. And this relentless quest often leads to burnout.
Resilience is not about knowing everything or having all the answers because we can’t. It’s about asking the right questions and being present to the flow of insight we are always connected to.
Yet hundreds of studies researching how people respond to adverse life experiences show us that events cannot directly dictate our emotional state.
Thought is the author of experience.
We are not passive victims of life. We are active creators and narrators shaping our lives from the inside out. And we get to use our minds to create the world we want to live in, whether in our workplaces, homes, or wider society.
Resilience is preexisting, unconditional, unbreakable wholeness. It’s love. And it’s your true nature.