This Might Be Why You're Unhappy | Summary and Q&A

540.9K views
October 13, 2019
by
Nathaniel Drew
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This Might Be Why You're Unhappy

TL;DR

Comparisons and the desire for external validation can be detrimental to one's happiness and self-esteem.

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Key Insights

  • 💨 Comparisons are a natural human tendency and are hardwired into us as a way to make sense of the world.
  • 🥺 Seeking external validation can be exhausting and leads to feelings of envy and inadequacy.
  • 💦 Comparisons can occur in various areas of life, including personal relationships, work, and creative pursuits.
  • 💌 Letting go of the need for external validation and focusing on personal growth and authenticity is essential for happiness.
  • 😃 Gratitude and focusing on what truly matters can reorient attention away from comparisons and bring joy.
  • 🤳 Personal growth and self-discovery are ongoing processes, and comparison is not a productive measure of success or happiness.
  • 💬 The opinions and comments of others should not define one's self-worth or sense of identity.

Transcript

There's an expression that I've heard many times throughout my life that rings very true Especially for me right now and it is that comparison is the thief of joy Which were weren't said by Theodore Roosevelt and it's so damn true and also so hard to break out of a scarcity comparison based mindset many times from my life I have made myself miserab... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: Why is comparison and seeking external validation harmful?

Comparison and seeking external validation can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and a constant need for validation from others. It hinders personal growth and satisfaction with oneself.

Q: How do comparisons affect the author's self-esteem?

The author feels reduced to a cheaper version of someone else when they are compared to others, leading to doubt and feelings of not being good enough.

Q: How does the author's ego play a role in seeking external validation?

The author's ego desires external validation, and comparisons trigger a sense of being in someone else's shadow and not measuring up.

Q: What is the author's solution to dealing with comparisons and seeking validation?

The author suggests reorienting attention to gratitude, focusing on what truly matters, and not letting the words of others distract from personal growth and work.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • The author reflects on the harmful effects of constantly comparing oneself to others and seeking external validation.

  • Comparisons are a natural human tendency, but they can lead to feelings of inadequacy and envy.

  • The author discusses personal experiences of being compared to others and the negative impact it has had on their self-esteem.

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