The Self-Improvement Paradox: When Getting Better Makes You Feels Worse | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Trying too hard to improve ourselves can sometimes make us feel worse. Balancing self-acceptance and self-improvement is key.

Key Insights

• 🤳 Balancing self-acceptance and self-improvement is crucial for personal growth and mental well-being.
• 🤳 The motivation behind self-acceptance and self-improvement matters. Ego-driven or avoidant motivations can hinder progress.
• 🤳 Self-esteem is a complex concept, and its measurement and implementation have been debated by researchers.
• 🤳 There is a difference between self-acceptance and complacency. Self-acceptance acknowledges flaws while still striving for growth.

Transcript

• We all wanna get better in life, but what if trying to get better actually makes us feel worse? The topic of today's episode is an interesting one and it's actually brought up by you, the listeners. We sourced questions from you all and we picked up a few that all fell under a similar theme. What do you do when trying to improve your life makes y... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: How does trying too hard to improve ourselves lead to feeling worse?

Trying too hard to be liked or happy can cause us to behave in ways that make us less likable or unhappy. It creates a cycle of dissatisfaction and frustration.

Q: Is there a time when being try-hard is okay?

In certain situations, being try-hard can be necessary to progress. It can help us move from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence, eventually leading to conscious competence.

Q: What is the difference between self-acceptance and self-improvement?

Self-acceptance involves recognizing your flaws and still feeling worthy and loved. Self-improvement focuses on growth and development, driven by the desire to become better without needing external validation.

Q: Is high self-esteem necessary for good mental health?

While self-esteem is important, it has been oversold in the past. The concept has been debated among psychologists, and the measurement of it has often been flawed. It is just one factor among many that contribute to mental health.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• The self-improvement paradox is when trying to improve ourselves leads to feeling worse.

• Social and emotional issues often arise from trying too hard to be liked or happy all the time.

• There needs to be a balance between self-acceptance and self-improvement, driven by healthy motivations.