Slavoj Žižek on Synthetic Sex and "Being Yourself" | Big Think | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Online dating creates a self-commodification and self-manipulation aspect that goes against the true nature of love, which involves imperfections.

Key Insights

• 🥰 Online dating involves presenting an idealized version of oneself, which goes against the true nature of love that embraces imperfections.
• 👯 Imperfections make someone more lovable and endearing, as shown by people's preference for a model with a birthmark.
• 🥰 The illusion of perfection is created by the excess or presence of imperfections, which is a significant aspect of desire and falling in love.
• 👋 We are never truly spontaneous, even in private life, and the control we exert over ourselves is a good thing.
• 🎮 Engaging in a certain level of control helps to maintain proper manners and fosters a civil society.
• 🥺 Perverse superego duties, such as talking dirty, can actually lead to more genuine and kind behavior.

Transcript

The problem I see with online dating is that it always automatically involves this aspect of self-commodification or self-manipulation. When you date online you have to present yourself there in a certain way putting forward certain qualities. You present an image of yourself. You focus on your ideal of how other people should perceive you. But I t... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: Why does online dating involve self-commodification and self-manipulation?

Online dating requires individuals to present an ideal image of themselves, focusing on certain qualities to attract others. This goes against the true nature of love that requires embracing imperfections.

Q: What is the significance of imperfections in love?

Imperfections are what make someone endearing and lovable. Love involves embracing the foibles and small disturbing elements of a person, even when presenting an image of perfection.

Q: Why did Claudia Schiffer lose against Cindy Crawford in a poll on who people prefer to live with?

Cindy Crawford won the poll because she had a birthmark, a tiny imperfection. This imperfection made her more relatable and appealing than Claudia Schiffer, who was considered too perfect.

Q: Why is the illusion of perfection important in desire and falling in love?

The cause of desire, or what makes someone fall in love, is often a sign of imperfection. The excess or presence of imperfections creates the illusion of perfection, which is a key aspect of desire and love.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Online dating involves presenting oneself in a certain way, focusing on the ideal perception of others, which goes against the true nature of love that requires embracing imperfections.

• Imperfections are what make someone endearing and lovable, as seen in the preference for a model with a birthmark over a seemingly perfect one.

• The illusion of perfection is created by the excess or the presence of a disturbing element, which is a key aspect of desire and falling in love.