Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman: It's time to explode 4 taboos of parenting | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Alisa Volkman and Rufus Griscom share their experiences of parenting, discussing four parenting taboos, including falling in love with your baby, feeling lonely as a new parent, experiencing a miscarriage, and the decline in average happiness after having a child.

Key Insights

• 👶 Having a baby can lead to unexpected changes and inspire new business ideas.
• 💑 The founders previously ran a website about sex and culture.
• 📷 Parenting expectations are often far from reality, leading to feelings of disappointment.
• 👥 Many parents feel lonely and isolated after having a baby.
• 💔 Miscarriage is a taboo subject, leading to feelings of shame and isolation.
• 😔 Parenthood can lead to a decline in average happiness, but it also provides transcendent moments of joy.
• ✋ Unrealistic expectations about parenting can contribute to the happiness gap.
• 🎯 By being more honest and realistic about the challenges of parenting, we can improve overall happiness levels for parents.

Transcript

Alisa Volkman: So this is where our story begins -- the dramatic moments of the birth of our first son, Declan. Obviously a really profound moment, and it changed our lives in many ways. It also changed our lives in many unexpected ways, and those unexpected ways we later reflected on, that eventually spawned a business idea between the two of us, ... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: How do Alisa Volkman and Rufus Griscom's experiences with parenting led them to create Babble?

Alisa Volkman and Rufus Griscom experienced unexpected challenges in their parenting journey, which inspired them to start Babble, a website aimed at providing honest and open conversations about parenting. Their own experiences and the need for more transparency in parenting discussions led them to create a platform where parents could connect and share their stories and experiences.

Q: Why do Alisa and Rufus believe it's important to address taboos in parenting discussions?

Alisa and Rufus believe that being honest and open about the challenges and realities of parenting is essential for creating a supportive and understanding community for parents. By addressing taboos, such as not instantly falling in love with a baby or experiencing loneliness as a new parent, they aim to break down the stigma and isolation often associated with these experiences.

Q: How do Alisa and Rufus challenge the notion of immediate love for a newborn baby?

Alisa and Rufus share their own experiences of not instantly falling in love with their newborn baby. They argue that love for a child is a process and evolves over time, rather than being an instantaneous feeling. They believe that acknowledging this reality can help parents feel less inadequate and recognize the depth of their love for their child as it grows and develops.

Q: What societal factors contribute to feelings of loneliness as a new parent?

Alisa and Rufus discuss how modern lifestyles and lack of community support can contribute to feelings of loneliness for new parents. They highlight that in many cultures, support systems and rituals are in place to help alleviate this sense of isolation, whereas in Western societies, where extended family may live far away and there may be limited community support, new parents may experience heightened feelings of loneliness.

Q: Why do Alisa and Rufus believe it is important to openly discuss miscarriages?

Alisa and Rufus talk about the lack of community support and rituals surrounding miscarriages. They share their own experience of miscarriage and the initial shame and embarrassment they felt. They argue that openly discussing miscarriages can help create a support network for those who have gone through this traumatic experience and break the stigma associated with it.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Alisa Volkman and Rufus Griscom discuss their journey of starting a parenting website, Babble, based on their own experiences as parents and the need for honesty in parenting conversations.

• They talk about four parenting taboos: the non-instantaneous love for a newborn baby, feelings of loneliness as a new parent, discussing miscarriages openly, and the decline in average happiness after having a child.

• They highlight the importance of managing expectations and being honest about the challenges and joys of parenting to create a happier parenting experience.