Building Self Confidence | Ekta Dixit | TEDxSSCBS | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Self-confidence is shaped by past experiences, negative self-talk, social comparisons, perfectionism, and lack of skills, but can be improved through repetition, learning from losses, self-affirmation, celebrating victories, and surrounding yourself with positivity.

Key Insights

• 🤳 Childhood experiences and negative self-talk can significantly impact self-confidence.
• 🖤 Self-confidence is influenced by factors like past failures, social comparisons, perfectionism, and lack of skills.
• 🤳 Building self-confidence involves repetition, learning from losses, self-affirmation, celebrating victories, and surrounding oneself with positivity.
• 🤳 The speaker highlights the importance of self-affirmation and changing negative internal narratives.
• 🤳 Surrounding oneself with positive influences and choosing a supportive tribe can enhance self-confidence.
• 🤳 Overcoming self-doubt and embracing imperfections are key aspects of building self-confidence.
• 🤳 Confidence is a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, not relying on external validation.

Transcript

foreign good morning well uh like I said I would like to begin with saying that I don't vividly remember my childhood days or my in fancy days for which I would like to blame my mom for not giving me enough soaked almonds to better my memory who is she tries to compensate Now by giving me more than I should have well jokes apart mom if you're watch... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: How did childhood experiences and negative self-talk contribute to the speaker's lack of confidence?

Childhood experiences and negative self-talk impacted the speaker's self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This laid the foundation for their struggles with confidence in various areas of life.

Q: What are the five parameters that define self-confidence according to the speaker?

The five parameters include negative self-talk, past failures, social comparison, perfectionism, and lack of skills. These factors highlight how one's mindset and experiences can greatly influence their confidence levels.

Q: How can repetition help in building self-confidence according to the speaker?

Repetition is emphasized as a key to building confidence by exposing oneself to uncomfortable situations repeatedly. This process allows individuals to expand their comfort zones and gain mastery over challenging scenarios.

Q: Why is celebrating victories important for self-confidence according to the speaker?

Celebrating victories, no matter how small, is crucial for boosting self-confidence. By acknowledging and appreciating one's accomplishments, individuals can reinforce positive self-perception and motivate themselves to continue growing.

Summary

In this video, Mikta discusses her journey towards building self-confidence. She shares personal stories from her childhood and college days that shaped her lack of confidence. Mikta identifies five factors that can contribute to low self-confidence: negative self-talk, past failures and childhood trauma, social comparison, striving for perfection, and lack of skills. She then reveals her secrets to gaining confidence, which include repetition and exposure to uncomfortable situations, learning from past mistakes, practicing self-affirmation, celebrating victories, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. Mikta emphasizes the importance of self-validation and encourages viewers to take ownership of their confidence.

Questions & Answers

Q: How did Mikta's experiences during her childhood and college days shape her lack of confidence?

Mikta recalls instances of bullying and mockery by her peers, which made her question her own abilities and feel like she wasn't good enough. Despite having a supportive family, she still struggled with confidence due to these negative experiences. She also mentions the pressure to be perfect, which was indirectly imposed by her father's own perfectionism. These experiences contributed to her becoming a people pleaser and lacking confidence in her own skills.

Q: What are the five parameters that define self-confidence, according to Mikta?

The five parameters that Mikta identifies are negative self-talk, past failures and childhood trauma, social comparison, striving for perfection, and lack of skills. These factors can significantly impact one's level of confidence. Mikta explains that one's internal dialogue and how they speak to themselves is crucial, as well as the influence of past failures and traumas. Additionally, comparing oneself to others through social media can chip away at confidence, as can the constant pursuit of perfection. Lastly, lacking certain skills can also affect confidence levels.

Q: How does Mikta suggest building self-confidence?

Mikta shares several secrets to building self-confidence. The first secret she reveals is repetition and exposure to uncomfortable situations. By repeatedly putting oneself in uncomfortable situations, one becomes more familiar and comfortable with them over time. The second secret is to learn from past failures and mistakes, using them as opportunities for growth. Mikta emphasizes the importance of self-affirmation as the third secret, noting that one's brain cannot distinguish between perceived reality and actual reality. Changing negative internal narratives and affirming oneself positively can have a significant impact on confidence. The fourth secret is to celebrate victories, no matter how small, to cultivate a positive mindset. Lastly, Mikta underscores the significance of surrounding oneself with people who bring out the best in them and support their growth.

Q: How can repetition and exposure to uncomfortable situations help build self-confidence?

Repetition and exposure to uncomfortable situations can build self-confidence by familiarizing oneself with those situations and reducing fear or anxiety associated with them. By consistently putting oneself in uncomfortable scenarios and practicing and repeating the actions required, one becomes more skilled and confident in tackling similar situations. It is through exposure and repetition that confidence is developed and expanded.

Q: How does learning from past failures contribute to self-confidence?

Learning from past failures allows individuals to gain valuable insights and understand their blind spots. By reflecting on past mistakes or experiences, they can identify areas for improvement and growth. This process of learning helps build confidence as individuals become wiser, more resilient, and better equipped to handle future challenges. Learning from failures empowers individuals to recognize their strengths and weaknesses, leading to self-growth and increased confidence.

Q: How does self-affirmation impact self-confidence?

Self-affirmation plays a significant role in shaping self-confidence. Mikta explains that our brains cannot differentiate between perceived reality and actual reality. When individuals engage in negative self-talk and doubt their abilities, they reinforce those negative beliefs and limit their confidence. However, by changing the internal narrative to positive self-affirmations, individuals can reshape their perception of themselves and boost their confidence. Self-affirmation involves rating oneself and recognizing personal skills and worth, regardless of external validation.

Q: Why is celebrating victories important for building self-confidence?

Celebrating victories, even small ones, is crucial for building self-confidence as it reinforces a positive mindset. Often, individuals tend to focus on their failures or the tasks they haven't completed, which can be discouraging. By consciously acknowledging and celebrating successes, individuals give themselves credit and recognize their accomplishments. This positive reinforcement builds confidence by reminding individuals of their abilities and encouraging them to keep striving for further achievements.

Q: How does surrounding oneself with supportive people contribute to self-confidence?

Surrounding oneself with supportive people is vital for building self-confidence because the company we keep influences our thoughts and behaviors. When individuals are surrounded by supportive and encouraging friends, family, and peers, they are more likely to feel validated and motivated. Supportive individuals push us to be better, hold us accountable, and provide a safe space for growth. By surrounding oneself with positive influences, individuals can foster an environment that uplifts their confidence.

Q: How does Mikta recommend dealing with negative comments or lack of external validation?

Mikta advises individuals not to let external validation define their self-worth. She emphasizes the importance of self-validation and changing the mental narratives about oneself. Instead of seeking validation from others, individuals should focus on validating themselves and embracing who they are. It is crucial to recognize that others' opinions are subjective and may not accurately reflect one's value. By being kind and compassionate toward oneself and focusing on personal growth, individuals can build their confidence irrespective of negative comments or lack of external validation.

Q: How did Mikta transition from lacking confidence to becoming a confident person?

Mikta transitioned from lacking confidence to becoming a confident person by following her own advice and secrets she shares in the video. She repeated exposure to uncomfortable situations, learned from past failures, practiced self-affirmation, celebrated her victories, and surrounded herself with supportive people. Mikta made a conscious effort to change her internal narratives and rate herself positively. Through consistent efforts and personal growth, she developed her confidence and became more comfortable speaking up and owning who she is.

Q: What final advice does Mikta give to viewers regarding self-confidence?

Mikta advises viewers to take ownership of their own confidence. She highlights the importance of validating oneself and focusing on personal growth rather than seeking external validation. Mikta encourages individuals to rate themselves positively and own their unique qualities. While confidence may fluctuate, she underscores the importance of being kind to oneself and embracing imperfections. Mikta assures viewers that if she can become a confident person despite her past struggles, anyone can achieve confidence by believing in themselves and taking control of their thoughts and actions.

Takeaways

Building self-confidence is a journey that requires addressing various factors that can contribute to low self-esteem. Negative self-talk, past failures, social comparison, striving for perfection, and lack of skills can all impact one's confidence levels. However, there are strategies to overcome these challenges. Repetition and exposure to uncomfortable situations can help individuals become more confident. Learning from past mistakes and embracing self-affirmation are also key. Celebrating victories, no matter how small, and surrounding oneself with supportive people further contribute to building self-confidence. Taking ownership of one's confidence and being kind to oneself is essential for personal growth and embracing imperfections. Confidence is a continuous effort, but with dedication and a positive mindset, anyone can cultivate and maintain it.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Childhood experiences and negative self-talk shaped the speaker's lack of confidence.

• Past failures, social comparison, perfectionism, and lack of skills contribute to low self-esteem.

• Secrets to building self-confidence include repetition, learning from losses, self-affirmation, celebrating victories, and choosing positive influences.