'AITA For Not Giving Son His Late Brother's College Fund' -- Reddit Story | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

A mother refuses to give her living son money from his deceased brother's college fund, which she instead donated to charity.

Key Insights

• 🤑 The mother's refusal to give Sam the money from his deceased brother's college fund stems from her grief and a desire to honor Thomas.
• 🤑 Sam's request for the money was driven by his financial need and a sense of entitlement to his deceased brother's funds.
• 🤑 The conflict highlights the difficulties of navigating grief and familial relationships, with tensions arising from different perspectives on the money's purpose.
• 🎓 The issue could have been resolved through compromise, such as splitting the funds between Sam's education and charity donations.
• 🦻 Seeking therapy as a family could have aided in processing grief, communication, and finding a resolution to the conflict.
• 🤑 The mother's emotional attachment to the money may hinder her ability to prioritize Sam's needs and could be seen as unhealthy.
• 🧑‍🏭 Donating the money to charity is a generous act, but consideration of the charity's practices and the impact on Sam's future could have been important factors.

Transcript

am i the [ __ ] for only paying for a portion of my son's college even though we had money from his dead brother's college fund i female58 will always be a mother to my twin sons thomas and sam in the summer after they graduated when they were 18 thomas passed away i can't even begin to explain how broken i was at that point sam had already accepte... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: Is the mother justified in refusing to give Sam the money from his deceased brother's college fund?

While the mother's grief and desire to honor her deceased son are understandable, denying Sam the funds he needed can be seen as unfair and neglecting his own financial needs during a difficult time.

Q: Could the money have been split between Sam and charity donations?

It is possible that a compromise could have been made where a portion of the money was given to Sam for his education, while the rest was donated to charities in memory of Thomas. This would have addressed both Sam's financial needs and the mother's desire to honor her deceased son.

Q: Should the mother have sought therapy for the family to resolve the conflict?

Yes, seeking therapy would have been beneficial to help the family process their grief, communicate their feelings, and find a resolution to the ongoing tension caused by the issue of the college funds.

Q: Is the mother's emotional attachment to the money unhealthy?

It can be argued that the mother's emotional attachment to the money, viewing it as solely belonging to Thomas, is unhealthy. The purpose of the college fund was to provide educational opportunities for both her sons, and prioritizing that purpose could have been more beneficial to Sam.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Thomas, one of the twin sons, passed away shortly after high school graduation, leaving behind college funds.

• The living son, Sam, needed the extra funds for his expensive Ivy League education but was denied by his mother.

• The mother, still grieving, donated the money to charities against drunk driving in memory of Thomas.

• Sam has since become a successful lawyer and brought up the issue, causing tension between him and his mother.