5 Powerful Habits To Build Unshakeable Confidence - Aliénor Hunter (Ultraspeaking) | Summary and Q&A

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December 7, 2023
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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal
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5 Powerful Habits To Build Unshakeable Confidence - Aliénor Hunter (Ultraspeaking)

TL;DR

Public speaking coach Alienor Hunter shares her personal journey of overcoming social anxiety and shyness, highlighting the importance of questioning one's beliefs and strategies to boost confidence in speaking.

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Key Insights

  • 🗣️ Confidence in speaking can be developed through gradual progress, therapy, and questioning one's beliefs.
  • 🛟 Shyness is a normal trait, but it becomes a problem when it hinders daily life and prevents individuals from reaching their potential.
  • 😟 Confidence is not about feeling nothing when speaking but about recognizing and embracing the nervous energy as a sign of care and passion.
  • 🤔 Overthinking can be overcome by practicing strategies that encourage speaking before thinking.
  • 🖐️ Mindset plays a significant role in building confidence, and choosing to be confident in the moment can make a significant difference.
  • 🙊 Receiving feedback on speaking abilities can help individuals identify areas for growth and improvement.

Transcript

I have this pet theory that we are looking at speaking the wrong way around let's say you at a drinks in that moment it's very easy to think okay I'm going to get better at speaking and the way I'm going to do that is I'm going to be so charming and charismatic I'm going to learn how to sit up straight I'm going to change all of these outside tips ... Read More

Questions & Answers

Q: How did Alienor overcome her social anxiety and shyness?

Alienor sought help through therapy where she learned to question her beliefs and challenge the rules she had created for herself. Over time, she gradually built confidence and social ease.

Q: What strategies did Alienor learn for boosting confidence in speaking?

Alienor participated in a public speaking course where she played speaking games that encouraged her to speak without overthinking. This helped her trust her instincts and develop confidence in speaking.

Q: Is being shy a bad thing?

Alienor believes that being shy is not a bad thing. Shyness can give individuals the superpower of observation and empathy. However, if shyness hinders one's ability to live their ordinary life or causes them to rely on others excessively, seeking help may be beneficial.

Q: How long did it take for Alienor to overcome her social anxiety?

Overcoming social anxiety was a gradual process for Alienor that took approximately two years of therapy. Each week, she worked on challenges and gradually saw improvements in her confidence and social interactions.

Q: How did Alienor overcome her social anxiety and shyness?

Alienor sought help through therapy where she learned to question her beliefs and challenge the rules she had created for herself. Over time, she gradually built confidence and social ease.

More Insights

  • Confidence in speaking can be developed through gradual progress, therapy, and questioning one's beliefs.

  • Shyness is a normal trait, but it becomes a problem when it hinders daily life and prevents individuals from reaching their potential.

  • Confidence is not about feeling nothing when speaking but about recognizing and embracing the nervous energy as a sign of care and passion.

  • Overthinking can be overcome by practicing strategies that encourage speaking before thinking.

  • Mindset plays a significant role in building confidence, and choosing to be confident in the moment can make a significant difference.

  • Receiving feedback on speaking abilities can help individuals identify areas for growth and improvement.

  • Everyone has unique strengths and qualities that contribute to their ability to speak confidently. It's important to focus on those strengths rather than comparing oneself to others.

Summary & Key Takeaways

  • Alienor Hunter, a professional public speaking coach, used to suffer from debilitating social anxiety and shyness but has since overcome it through therapy and self-reflection.

  • Therapy helped Alienor question her beliefs and challenge the rules she had created for herself, leading to a gradual increase in confidence and social ease.

  • Alienor's journey towards building confidence in speaking involved participating in a public speaking course and engaging in speaking games that helped her trust her instincts and speak without overthinking.

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