How To Actually Be Good At Texting (With Anyone) | Summary and Q&A

TL;DR

Texting is complicated due to varying rules and expectations, but instead of focusing on how to write the perfect text, it's important to learn how to properly interpret and respond to incoming messages.

Key Insights

• 📱 Texting is full of contradictory rules and expectations, making it confusing for everyone involved.
• 🧩 Different sets of rules exist for different genders and relationships, further complicating the texting landscape.
• ✍️ A key aspect of texting that is often overlooked is how to properly read and interpret texts.
• 😡 When receiving a text that upsets you, it's important to pause, reread, and critically analyze it before responding.
• 🚫 Don't assume offense when receiving a text as tone and emotion can easily be lost in written messages.
• 😮 Emojis were created to convey emotions in texts, but they can also be misinterpreted or unclear in meaning. ⏰ Texting is convenient and doesn't always require instant responses, so don't stress if someone doesn't reply right away.
• 👻 Ghosting is subjective and depends on individual expectations and desires for response time.
• 🔐 Recognize that you can't control someone else's behavior through your texts, and attempting to do so can lead to resentment and misunderstanding.

Transcript

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Questions & Answers

Q: How can I improve my texting skills?

To become a better texter, it's important to shift the focus from writing texts to reading and interpreting them properly. Take a step back, re-read the text, and think critically about different interpretations. Don't immediately respond if the text upsets you, as it may not be the sender's intention to upset you. Instead, pause and consider a charitable interpretation of their words before responding.

Q: What should I do if someone doesn't respond to my text?

Remember that texting is about convenience and people may not respond immediately. Give them time and understand that they may have other things going on in their lives. Avoid jumping to conclusions and feeling ghosted. Instead of blaming the other person, consider that they may have a valid reason for not responding. Don't let your internal expectations dictate whether you feel ghosted or not.

Q: How does resentment affect texting and communication?

Resentment can build up when we make sacrifices and expectations in our texts to elicit certain responses from others. If these expectations are not met, resentment can impact our communication and relationships. It's important to recognize that we can't control someone else's behavior through texting and focus on effective communication rather than winning a game.

Q: Why is it important to properly interpret and respond to texts?

Texting lacks the non-verbal cues and emotions present in face-to-face conversations. Misinterpretation can easily occur without tone, facial expressions, or body language. To avoid misunderstandings, take the time to read texts critically, think about different interpretations, and clarify if necessary. A better understanding of incoming messages can lead to more effective and meaningful communication through texting.

Summary & Key Takeaways

• Texting has become a mess with different rules and expectations for different genders, relationships, and contexts.

• The focus should shift from perfecting the art of writing texts to understanding how to read and interpret incoming messages.

• When receiving a text that upsets you, take a step back, re-read the text critically, and think about different interpretations before responding.