Leaders who are widely viewed as effective and highly successful in their organizations will tell you that 70% of the learning that got them there was through their experiences, 20% was through other people, and 10% was through courses, books, and other types of education.

If you have more of a learning mindset, you still want to perform well, but you are also attuned to learning. You are open to challenge and your focus is on getting better than you were in the past (rather than being preoccupied with whether you are better than others).

The pain of the present. When there’s something in your present situation that’s causing pain for you or others, it creates a motive to grow, change, or try something different.

The fantasies of the future. We all have fantasies of our future selves. These might come from our imagination or our observation of various role models. These fantasies can create a learning goal for us.

Notice that these goals are to work on, to improve, to get better at. As soon as you state your goals as to be great at or to be the best at, it’s very difficult to stay in a learning mindset. You want to identify goals that help nudge you to get better without becoming preoccupied with proving your greatness to others.

To be personally and interpersonally effective, you can’t decide on your effectiveness on your own—you need other people’s feedback. Given this, feedback and feedback seeking are integral to the growth process.

A lot of people are afraid to ask for feedback directly; they think they might look weak, insecure, or uncertain. But according to research, it’s the opposite. It actually makes people—your boss, peers, or subordinates—see you as more effective and caring. 

To learn and grow, it matters what you do with what happens to you. That means approaching your most important experiences with a learning mindset, bringing a specific focus on your personal growth in that experience, trying experiments, and seeking feedback.