Finding Balance: Self-Improvement and Relationship Appreciation in the Modern Age

Feranmi Olaseinde

Hatched by Feranmi Olaseinde

Jan 25, 2024

3 min read


Finding Balance: Self-Improvement and Relationship Appreciation in the Modern Age


In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the pursuit of self-improvement while neglecting the relationships that matter most to us. We are constantly bombarded with stimuli that release dopamine in our brains, leading to addictive behaviors and a constant search for pleasure. However, true fulfillment lies in finding a balance between personal growth and showing appreciation for our partners. In this article, we will explore the connection between self-improvement and relationship appreciation, and provide actionable advice to help you achieve both.

The Dopamine Dilemma:

In the pursuit of self-improvement, we often seek out quick fixes and instant gratification. Whether it's scrolling through social media, indulging in junk food, or other pleasure-producing stimuli, our brains release dopamine to reward us. However, this pleasure is quickly followed by a balancing dose of pain, leading to restlessness, anxiety, and unhappiness. To break free from this cycle, it's important to limit our time on social media and focus on activities that provide long-term benefits.

Changing Habits for Personal Growth:

To become the person we wish to be, it's crucial to identify and change habits that hinder our progress. James Clear suggests three approaches to habit change: outcome change, process change, and identity change. Outcome change focuses on getting different results, while process change focuses on how we go about achieving those results. However, the most profound change comes from identity change, which involves transforming ourselves from the inside out. By breaking down new habits into small, manageable steps and making intentional commitments, we can overcome resistance and create lasting change.

Appreciating Your Partner:

While self-improvement is important, it should not come at the expense of our relationships. Expressing gratitude and appreciation to our partners is essential for maintaining a strong bond. Simple gestures like praising their appearance, intelligence, or talents can go a long way in making them feel special. It's vital to avoid taking one another for granted and to show that we see and value the efforts they make for us.

The Power of Words and Touch:

Expressing gratitude verbally can have a profound impact on our relationships. Taking the time to say "thank you" and recognizing the little things our partners do for us can reinforce their importance in our lives. Additionally, physical touch plays a crucial role in human connection. Regularly giving hugs, holding hands, cuddling, and kissing can make our partners feel appreciated and loved.

Sharing Responsibilities:

In any relationship, daily life brings practical obligations and responsibilities. Stepping up and sharing these tasks shows that we value our partner's contributions and are not taking them for granted. By actively participating in household chores and daily responsibilities without being asked, we demonstrate that we are equal partners in managing our lives.

Supporting Their Dreams:

Being in a relationship means being part of a team. It's vital to support our partner's interests, goals, and dreams. Encouraging them to pursue their passions and being there for them in both good and bad times strengthens the bond between us. Regularly checking in with our partners and actively listening to their concerns shows that we care and are committed to their well-being.


Finding balance in self-improvement and relationship appreciation is essential for personal growth and fulfilling partnerships. By understanding the dopamine-driven cycle of pleasure and pain, we can limit our reliance on quick fixes and focus on activities that provide long-term benefits. Changing habits requires a combination of outcome, process, and identity change, and starting small can lead to significant progress. Additionally, expressing gratitude, actively listening, sharing responsibilities, and supporting our partner's dreams all contribute to nurturing strong and appreciative relationships. By incorporating these actionable advice into our lives, we can achieve personal growth while fostering love and appreciation in our relationships.

Hatch New Ideas with Glasp AI 🐣

Glasp AI allows you to hatch new ideas based on your curated content. Let's curate and create with Glasp AI :)