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• Instead of trying to increase your likability, focus on respect, both giving it and earning it. Don’t think of disagreement as unkind. Most people are willing to hear a different perspective if you share it respectfully. You might also try to emulate someone who is comfortable with conflict.
• what I’ve observed in research and interviews about conflict at work is that most people don’t want to disagree or know how to do it. In fact, we’ve come to equate saying “I see it differently” or “I don’t agree” with being angry, rude, or unkind, so it makes most people horribly uncomfortable.
• Disagreements are an inevitable, normal, and healthy part of relating to other people. There is no such thing as a conflict-free work environment. You might dream of working in a peaceful utopia, but it wouldn’t be good for your company, your work, or you.
• You’ll also set an important precedent: that it’s possible to have “good” fights and then move on. My 10-year-old daughter knows this intuitively. She once came back from a sleepover with her close friend, and when I asked her how it went, she said, “Great. We fought the whole time.” I pressed her about how it could’ve been fun when they were argui...
• managers have an obligation to design conflicts that allow their teams to be creative and productive. Put simply, we have to learn how to disagree more, and managers need to take responsibility for making it comfortable and OK for people to dissent, debate, and express their true opinions.

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