For the hundreds of thousands of couples getting married this month—and for the millions of couples currently together, married or not—the lesson from the research is clear: If you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, exercise kindness early and often.
In one study from 2006, the psychological researcher Shelly Gable and her colleagues brought young-adult couples into the lab to discuss recent positive events from their lives. The psychologists wanted to know how partners would respond to each other’s good news. They found that, in general, couples responded to each other’s good news in four diff...
Active-constructive responding is crucial for healthy relationships. In the 2006 study, Gable and her colleagues followed up with the couples two months later to see if they were still together. The psychologists found that the only difference between the couples who were together and those who broke up was active-constructive responding. Those who...
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