Top Highlights

• And that’s why people may resist treatment, including you. Because your negative thoughts and feelings can be really helpful and appropriate and because they always reflect your core values as a human being.
• When we’re upset or fall short of our goals, we tend to beat up on ourselves with harsh criticisms. But if we were talking to a dear friend with the same exact problem, we’d do so in a far more compassionate, supportive, and realistic way. Once you’re aware of this, you can ask yourself if you’d be willing to talk to yourself in the same compassion...
• Telling yourself that you need something to feel happy and fulfilled is a lot like being in a hypnotic trance. That’s because you’re buying into a message that’s actually not true. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with wanting certain things in life, like a baby, a loving partner, money, success, or friends. However, when you elevate a want to a ...
• One of the most powerful discoveries I’ve made is that your negative feelings always say something really good—even great—about you, and they will nearly always help you in important ways too.
• And that’s why we resist solving relationship problems: Because we usually have mixed feelings, or even strong negative feelings, about getting close to the person we’re not getting along with.