Top Highlights

• acomedido. The idea is complex: It’s not just doing a chore or task because someone told you to; it’s knowing which kind of help is appropriate at a particular moment because you’re paying attention.
• “Whenever she wants to help, you let her?” I ask, still not understanding. “Even if she makes a giant mess?” “Yes. That is the way to teach children.”
• Parents see this mess as an investment. If you encourage the incompetent toddler who really wants to do the dishes now, then over time, they’ll turn into the competent nine-year-old who still wants to help—and who can really make a difference.
• Practice cleaning. Practice cooking. Practice washing. Let them grab the spoon from your hand and stir the pot. Let them grab the vacuum and start cleaning the rug. Let them make a bit of a mess when they are little, slightly less of a mess as they grow, and by the time they’re preteens, they will be helping to clean up your messes without you havi...
• We’re training the child to cooperate, not to obey the parent. Part of working together is accepting a child’s preference when they choose not to help.