Top Highlights

• Usually we are so absorbed by the outburst that we miss the buildup. For example, when my daughter was a baby, she hated having her face wiped off after meals. She would whine and fuss and I would get irritated and exasperated. It didn't happen all the time, so finally one day I decided to see if there was any pattern to it. There was. There usuall...
• For adults, play means leisure, but for children, play is more like their job. Unlike many of us adults, they usually love their work and seldom want a day off. Play is also children's main way of communicating, of experimenting, and of learning.
• Play is children's main way of communicating. To stop a child from playing is like stopping an adult from talking and thinking.
• To control every minute of their play is like controlling every word someone says. But to leave children all alone in their play is like spending the day with other adults and never talking with them.
• Child psychologists talk about attachment theory all the time, but it still isn't well understood by parents.2 To help explain attachment, I like to use the metaphor of filling and refilling a cup.