Aryan Gupta
@atwokstanley
New Delhi, India
Joined Sep 18, 2022
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instead of asking for opinion or feedback or your expectations about this new product or service you ask for your advice ask people for their advice on it not only are they more favorable to your idea they give you better input more constructive reasons
for me influence involves pointing to them where they naturally exist that is informing people
manipulation involves the fabrication or manufacture of those principles the counterfeiting them of them in a situation where somebody lies with statistics in order to get you to believe that a lot of people are doing this or believing this thing
reciprocation
for a week every family that came into the mcdonald's locations the children got a balloon from the mcdonald's management half of them got the balloon as the family was leaving as a nice thank you for their uh you know for for for coming into mcdonald's and and and uh purchasing pro uh food
06:11
the other half got the balloon each kid got the balloon as they entered those families bought 25 percent more food because they had been given something first
go positive go first
i think people are afraid they don't recognize the power of this rule and they're afraid that by going first and giving resources giving time giving attention giving samples and so on people might they might just be losing that they're not cognizant of the fact that there's such a strong rule in every human culture that says you're not you must not take
08:32
without giving in return
somebody gives you a gift or maybe does you a favor
my sense is we are obligated to give back at the same level but if the only thing we can do is to give back at a higher level we
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will to avoid the burden of feeling like a cheater like a free rider
people are more willing to say yes to a request for something in return the closer to the favor we've provided however when they have given us very large favors those things stay in our consciousness and years later we will be willing to give back to them
but also when what we have given to them is tailored to their needs their preferences their current challenges under those circumstances we now have a we now have a more muscular version of the sense of obligation
i'll give you an example again we can do it at a at a fast food restaurant
if you give people something they need that's high in their goal hierarchy they're going to be most willing to give back to you at a higher level
how do we defend ourselves against this
recognize that we can't just in a blanket kind of way reject
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the gifts and favors and services that may be very well intentioned for us right by people who would like to you know increase our outcomes in a particular situation
what we have to do is recognize that when those people do that and then use that as a lever to get something much larger from us we have to re-frame what they gave us as no longer a gift to be reciprocated but a trick a device an artifice designed to get our compliance with a much larger request
recognize that when those people do that and then use that as a lever to get something much larger from us we have to re-frame what they gave us as no longer a gift to be reciprocated but a trick
we prefer to say yes to people that
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we like
there are really two major variables that we can influence
one is similarity we like people who are like us so one thing we can do is to point to commonalities that genuinely exist
we like people who like us