when I was young that ADHD is ah yeah ah this kid can't pay attention ah when in fact what it means is you are unable to control what you pay attention to so generally when you have ADHD you are paying more attention than most people but to the wrong thing right to Super Mario Brothers anything

it can be like a I can be in a in a classroom let's say I'm in school I'm in a classroom and there's like a little bird on tapping at the window and the teacher is
26:24
speaking I'm my brain is like that bird is you know what I mean most people are able to go the bird is not consequential to what's happening right now turn it off focus on the teacher I my brain sometimes goes that bird man that bird that bird is ridiculous

I've been in therapy for years and it was actually one of my therapists who said to me hey have you ever thought of trying something that would go beyond the talk therapy I was like what do you mean and she said well there's this there's this therapy that some really good therapists are doing ketamine therapy

when I understood it better when I when I did a lot of reading because I was I wasn't comfortable with it um I understood that sometimes you need something that breaks the connection between your brain and your body so that your brain gets a break from your body in processing the
31:50
information um and so your so your mind lets you go and that's with a good therapist I wouldn't tell anybody to do it without

diagnosis is more important than most medications

diagnosis is more important than most medications

think this is the same for most things in life just knowing is I would say 80% as effective as treating

when you know you now understand you know what I'm saying yeah like it's you're not crazy there's a there's a big
32:58
amount of relief

you weren't imagining things you're not crazy and the people around you weren't imagining things

my attention has shifted in a way that people can feel so in my head

a relationship therapist actually good friend of mine and she said um you'll think you fixed everything that you needed to fix until you meet someone who reignites all of the questions that you haven't answered from your childhood

fundamentally all we're doing you know it's like you're going from one
36:24
relationship to the next being forced to answer questions about yourself that have generally come from your childhood sometimes from previous relationships as an adult

diagnosing ADHD ADHD was more important than treating it

Communication in a relationship is more important than fixing the things about yourselves that are causing you problems problems in that relationship

if you just learn to develop effective communication between the two of you which starts right at the beginning and and I mean like right at the beginning we take it for granted

it all starts with like the smallest like the smallest contortion of who you are uhhuh I would say to
43:24
people be a more honest version of yourself

also prepare yourself for the fact that you will also be a more alone version of yourself for a bit

I'm better now is because now I can tell you when I'm drunk in love I can tell you as the person I'm drunk in love with I can go like hey I'm drunk
45:20
right now I would not normally do this so usually on a Saturday or Sunday I'm probably going to watch a Liverpool game I'm drunk right now and so because I'm drunk I'm going to come with you to the farmer's market mhm but I wouldn't usually this is all hypothetical not based on a true story at all do you know what I mean yeah and I think there's something beautiful in that obviously I'm biased because I'm the one saying it but I think it's nice for somebody to know that this isn't me you make me feel
45:56
like I can do or be something that I'm not and in this moment I'm having a lot of fun and I'm enjoying it but please don't assume that this is me this is not who I been it might be who I become yeah but this is not who I've been so there's a good chance that that won't be who I will be going forward

that's where we screw each other over in relationships is we're drunk in the beginning we do all the things you would only do when you're drunk yeah and then as the alcohol start you pretend like
46:22
I'm not drunk this is who I am yeah this is me and then you start to sober up and by the way you don't have to be drunk you just I think there's that like peop pleasing window yeah which or mon I still think it's a drunkenness that's what I mean it's like a it's like you know you intoxicated is a better way to put it it's you you're intoxicated by that person and do you find that you're fitting less hats definitely or less heads yeah definitely definitely which is which is it's a loner place to be in
46:49
people