An intellectual sparring partner is a friend, colleague, or acquaintance whose combination of background, competency, and personality makes them well-suited to strengthen the quality of your reasoning and decision-making via active, grounded discussion and debate.

To identify one, look for a combination of a different background from your own, clarity and depth of thinking, and a kind but direct personality.

Establish structure with regular “sparring sessions”—1 hour on a fixed weekly or monthly cadence, with clear topics and desired outcomes to guide the discussion.

If I can spark new curiosity about a topic—and that curiosity leads to active thinking, learning, discussion, and personal or professional growth—I’ve done my job.

One common trait I’ve observed: they all legitimately enjoy being wrong. They embrace new information that forces them to change their viewpoints

Put simply, an intellectual sparring partner is a person who is willing and able to question, critique, and pressure test your thinking.

Competency: Exhibited clarity and depth of thinking. An analytical mind that is able to deconstruct problems into component parts.

You want to feel safe with the person and know that they operate from a basic stance of kindness—

1 hour session.
Weekly or monthly cadence.
1-3 pre-planned sparring topics. Each person should send the topic with a few bullets on background and framing in advance of the session.
Clear desired outcomes. Each person should be clear about the desired outcomes from the session.